We spend so much time thinking about, worrying over, or wanting sex. It's such an important aspect - the provider - of life. With that in mind, it is imperative that we do it in a safe, secure (and, if you ask me, sexy) manner. So, how can we ensure that we are all sexually healthy?
- Stop worrying about being a 'sexpert'
- There is no such thing - everyone has different likes, dislikes, kinks etc
- 35% of men and 54% of women admit to having problems with sex
- Placing this amount of pressure on yourself is going to stop you from relaxing into sex, so instead, try to focus on simply enjoying the receiving and giving of pleasure
- Do what feels good; as long as everyone involved is enjoying it, then "you're doing amazing sweetie" (I hope you said that in your inner Kris Jenner voice)
- Communicate
- Don't expect your partner to know what you want
- Don't be afraid to talk about trying new things; this will keep your relationship exciting
- Remember, if you try something and don't like it, you don't have to do it again!
- You could even try making a list together of everything and anything you'd consider trying
- Or make a list of sexual activities and write: 'yes', 'no' or 'maybe' next to each one
- Keep your relationship fresh
- Make time for each other - spend quality time together; try putting your phones away and being present in the moment
- Often, your sex life is a reflection of your 'real' life and emotional wellbeing, so feeling 'loved up' and close to your partner will likely make you want them more
- Tease them
- Why not have a break from actual sex? Make your partner realise how lucky they are to have you and make them crave your body. To make this more intense, why not build your partner up and then leave them wanting you?
- Women in particular can feel pressure to have sex, to keep their partners interested, but by taking sex off the menu, that pressure is reduced
- Why not explore each others bodies without the end goal of having sex; this can be super intimate and can make you feel more relaxed and calm
- Lube up and increase foreplay
- Lost of women feel a little bit of discomfort during sex so by building (and lubing) her up, it should feel not only sexier, but a whole lot better
- Involve sex toys
- This can increase the chance of having a clitoral orgasm and let me tell you, orgasms are super good for you! Forget your green juices (well don't, but you get the picture), orgasms are the way to go. They lower your cortisol levels which reduces stress and makes your heart healthy. If you needed a reason to have them, there you go
- Figure out what does it for you
- Amidst trying to please others, we can forgot to consider what turns us on
- Think about what you like doing, what feels good, what kind of videos 'do the trick'
- If you're unsure, you can always do some research on common sexual fantasies and see if any of them do it for you. Reading Nancy Friday's 'My Secret Garden, Women's Sexual Fantasies' might be a good start
- Draw yourself a bath, get comfortable, and explore your body to work out what you do and don't like, then feel free to communicate - or show - this to your partner
Basically, all you need to do is relax, think about what turns you on, communicate this to your partner or partners, and don't be afraid to try new things, then you're good to go! Now then, off you go to do some primary research... enjoy